Public Enemy: The Musical

I've moved back to Public Enemy. I didn't think I'd ever write that idea again. But I'm on fire at the moment. I'm mixing Drama, Music and Poetry together to create an audio masterpiece. Or at least I hope so anyway. I haven't completely given up on The Hunter. I found that easier to write than Public Enemy. But my heart's not really in it.

Although I hope to finish both of them soon. I'm not writing as much as I like too. I'm being very, very lazy at the moment. I've only done 4 pages and I started it three days ago. It's going very, very slowly. I would love to pick up my pace as I really want to finish it quickly and get it sent off.

But that seems unlikely at the moment. It'll probably take me a couple of months to do. And I'm worried that 2008 will be like 2007 in that I hardly finish anything. I don't want that to happen. I want to be published in some form or another this year. And the way things are looking at the moment that doesn't seem likely to happen either.

ARGHHHHH!!!

I'm enjoying writing it. It's different. And fun. If a little hard.

Getting worse

OK. I've been rushing it a bit. I'm so desperate to see Public Enemy finished. And I think that's caused the quality to slip drastically. It's never going to be published in this state. So since I have finished the first chapter of it. I will go back through and do some much needed editing. I hope I can tidy it up enough to bring it up to publishable standards. I'm worried I won't. I really struggled with it today. The same thing that happened with the other 6 drafts.

When I feel the quality is slipping, like it is, then I tend to get bored of it. And that's what happened today. So I'm desperately hoping I can put an end to this nagging feeling in the back of my mind by doing this editing. If I feel the quality is good then I should be able to continue, and with any luck get it finished.

I so badly want to finish something with Jodie in it. I love her! I keep fantasizing about her all the time. I imagine how brilliant, and popular she is. And all the different comics I could write for her, etc, etc. But so far, I'm on page 23. And I have an awful long way to go. I'm doubting whether I can keep it up.

Oh well. Here's to tomorrow.

Exhausting too

Public Enemy isn't just hard work. I find it very exhausting too. I feel mentally drained. And I'm only on page 11. Arghhh!! I managed 6 pages yesterday, and I'm on course for another six pages today. With two already done. I'm hoping maybe from Monday onwards I can do 8 pages a day again. But like I said, it's very hard work, and very exhausting to do.

I can't wait to go back to writing plays. They were so much easier.

Hard work

This Public Enemy rewrite is blooming hard work. It took me 30 minutes to write two panels. I'm certainly writing in more detail than I did before. Each panel so far has taken up nearly half a page. Admittedly I've only done four panels but still. I'm worried it'll take me twice as long to do now. I mean I know it's quality not quantity but I'm desperate to be published this year. I've been at this writing gig for 7 years now and I haven't sold anything yet. It's driving me crazy! I can't take this nobody business anymore. I want to be a SOMEBODY.

Whether or not I could handle the fame and fortune if it comes is debatable. I have a lot of mental health problems. And I would probably struggle if I was overly famous. But it would be nice if people knew who I was now and again. But anyway. I would post page two but I can't be bothered to boot up windows again. (I use a Macintosh).

But in the meantime I would like to plug my screenwriting software that I use to write my plays and comics. It's called Sophocles. It's absolutely brilliant. I throughly recommend it to anyone.

And end post.

Public Enemy is too alluring

I couldn't write Fade To Black anymore. I just didn't believe in it. I thought it was pretty good by my standards. But not by anyone else's. But the allure of rewriting Public Enemy was too much to resist. I am weak minded. So I rewrote the first page. I think I've done alright. It's a bit rough around the edges. But it's an improvement over the last draft. This is my sixth attempt at it.

So here it is.

PAGE ONE: (2 PANELS)
PANEL ONE

Wide angle shot. Looking down an alleyway, that's about wide enough to fit a car through. On the right hand side, a two-story building of some kind. Some of the windows are boarded up. Others have been smashed. Some sharp, shards of shattered glass lay hopeless around on the cracked, oil-spilled, asphalt tarmac.

There's two sheet-metal garages below. Rusted. Corroded. They look worse for wear. Scrawled in paint across them are -- Keep Out and -- No Parking --.

A damaged metal fire escape lines up around the dilapidated building. The ladder has been lowered down. But it tilts to one side. Broken off it's hinges. Probably vandalized by local hooligans. Tipped over garbage cans spewing their trash to the left. Split black sacks with trash gouging out the side.

Coke cans, torn newspapers and other lightweight junk are being pelted around by the choppy, hurricane-force wind. Thick, impenetrable steam hisses out the sewer grates in the center of the shot. A rotten odor of feces circulates the surrounding area. This place makes hell look like Beverly Hills. You'd want to keep the paying tourists away, that's for sure.

The sky above the scene is blacker than coal. Dense, thunderous clouds surge across the sky like charging bulls, lost and aimless but packing a horrendous punch.

But in the hazy, cream-colored steam. We can make out a shadowy figure of a young girl running towards us.

CAPTION
20th March 2039 - Newcity, England.

PANEL TWO

The young girl comes into full view. It's JODIE SUMMERS. Jodie's a beautiful english rose. About seventeen years old. She's very cuddly, girl-next-door-type look. Jodie has an aroma of sweetness and innocence. Her shoulder-length pitch-black hair is in a loose ponytail. There's the odd few strands running down her young, ethereal face.

Her crystal-blue eyes sharply focused to her wrist. Jodie's staring shockingly at the time. She's clad from neck-to-toe in a cola-black, and rose-red lycra suit. The rose-red are over the limb-joints and breasts. And cola-black everywhere else. It's skin-tight. And molds to Jodie's subtle, fragile body. Which means, it leaves very little to the imagination.

Slugged over her left should is a Heckler & Koch PSG-1 sniper rifle. It swings in motion to Jodie's rapid movements.

The dire wind belts around newspapers, and coke cans. They rattle, and roll around Jodie's tired feet. The newspapers explode into the air, shot down the alleyway like a speeding bullet.

JODIE SUMMERS
Must hurry myself up. I don't have time on my side.

What do you think? Better than the fifth draft that I posted? I hope so. Please tell me it is. I'm going crazy with despair over the whole thing. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!

What to do now?

I'm really concerned about the Public Enemy Graphic Novel. I am convinced it's total tripe. So what do I do now? I am really tempted to abandon it and just concede that I can't write comic books. As much as I would love to write one. I simply don't have the talent. So what's next?

I don't want to give up on Jodie Summers. She's my baby. Yeah. Yeah. She's fictional. But Jodie wouldn't give up on me. And I feel guilty that I can't finish a creative work with her in it. It's been two years since I created her. I've attempted hundreds of works featuring her. But none finished.

She's just too hard to write. I always fail with her. Always. So what's next? I have several options. I could return to theatre and write another play.  I could write a Radio drama. Or I could write a novel. I'll be rubbish at all three. But I have no other option. March has proved to be a disastrous month for me.

Comics are just too hard. Too painful. I want to do Jodie so bad. I owe her one. So I just have to try and think of something else to put her in. Maybe a play. Maybe a radio drama. I've tried Novels before. And I have completely failed. 

It's description I'm terrible at. And dialogue. And characterization. And EVERYTHING! Why don't I have any talent? I'm always getting screwed over. I'm just bad luck. If only I had some rope... or  a shotgun or something. I could put an end to my stupid, worthless, life in an instant.

But I don't. So I'll have to struggle on.