Complete disaster!

My plan to make the novel-cum-screenplay into a poetic, arty, surreal masterpiece has backfired on me. I tried making it poetic but it just sounds silly. I couldn't do it. It seems so utterly crap now. I abandon it for definitely now. It just so stupid and crap. WHAT WAS I THINKING!? I've ruined it and now the memory of it has been tainted forever. I doubt whether it would have been published anyway. It was pretty awful to begin with.

I've gone back to the radio version of it. I like the idea I have for it. I made a few brief changes to it and while it's not genius. It's alright, I guess. Publishable? I doubt it. But I don't have much choice left. I HAVE to do and finish something with Jodie in it. Before someone steals her name. I did attempt a page of the comic but I find it to be utter shit. As always. I just can't do comics. They never seem right. They look odd. If only I could draw...

But I can't. So it's not worth worrying about. The radio play seems OK. I'll see how it goes. I'll probably go back to the comic since something will go wrong with the radio drama. I just know it. I'm only on page 3 of the radio play. So there's plenty that could go wrong with it. I only made some brief alterations tonight. Which I feel disappointed about. I should have done more. I may attempt some more tonight. My fantasies are getting in the way and I can't focus or concentrate properly.

I just hope I can finish something. Time is running out. A book or whatever could appear in the next few months with a character called Jodie Summers. I don't want to lose that name. I can't imagine her being called anything else. I guess it's my own fault. I've had the Jodie Summers character in my head since 2005. So I've had plenty of time to finish something with her in it but I always failed. Time after time. 2008 has been no different. There's something about Jodie that makes me fail with her. I managed to finish two crappy plays with my other character Prodigy even though they were both rejected. But I doubt anyone will steal 'Prodigy' and call a character that. It's so different and odd. But you never know.

But my primary focus is on Jodie. But I'll fail. As usual.