Fade To Black Play Finished!!

I finished something!

YAY! YEAH! WOOHOO!!

More later.

It's 85 pages long. My longest play I have ever written. Although, it is only my third.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

It's been a few days. I can't be bothered to update very day. I don't have much to say. I've had good writing sessions this week. I managed 6 pages each on Saturday and Sunday. I didn't write Monday as I got stuck and couldn't think of the solution to the scene I was trying to write. But I worked it out and Tuesday I managed an amazing 10 pages! It was incredible! Wednesday didn't go so well. I managed 5 pages. But I wrote an awkward scene that I'm thinking of deleting. The dialogue for it is terrible. The character I added were awful too. So I'll most likely end up removing that odd page. It really brings the play down. Tonight I managed another incredible session with 9 pages written. My Fade To Black play is now at 70 pages. I think I might manage 90 at this rate! It would be my longest ever play! Admittedly, I've only written 2 others. But they were 55 pages and 60 pages respectably.

My sleep has been generally good too. I couldn't sleep Tuesday so I had to take another sleeping pill. But it didn't stop me from writing (thankfully). I've been spending money again after visiting Amazon. I brought Sieben; a triple CD album by Agonoize. That should arrive tomorrow. I also brought Marlowe: The complete plays. I also got The Complete Dramatic works of Samuel Beckett, and the collected poems of William Wordsworth. That was on Friday night. Then last night I brought two Tech N9ne albums. £8 and £9 each. They are; Ever-ready, and Killer. I quite pleased. It's been a good week with the odd exception.

My Social Work Gavin came again today. It was a bit awkward at first. I was meant to do some homework by listing 5 problems and coming up with a solution for them. But I couldn't be bothered to do it. But he kept asking me why. So I sat in silence for ten minutes looking at the floor. But I warmed up and it went OK from that point onwards.

That's it really. Nothing more for me to say.

Goodbye.

Come again soon.

An update

I haven't posted for a few days. I just couldn't be bothered. But things are going well. I've had good sleeps and good writing sessions since my last post. I also have a new social worker called Gavin Palmer. He's a little direct. He wants me to have a more fulfilling life than I have now. Which I suppose is a good thing. But I guess I like my life. It's not perfect. I hardly ever go outside. I don't have any friends. Never had a girlfriend. But I do enjoy myself. Admittedly, I get depressed at times. And wish I was dead. But that only happens when my writing goes bad. I'm still hoping that my writing pays off and success and fortune comes my way. Then maybe I'll consider going out more etc.

I feel everything that normal people have will follow once I get successful. That's how I envision it in my head. Gavin's a nice bloke. But I worry about the what he'll try and get me to do. I don't know if I even want to go out. Not at the moment. I'm quite contended. I know he can't force me. So I am always in control. But I succumb to nagging. If he nags me enough then I will probably do what he wants. And that scares me. I suffer from anxiety alot. So it's going to be tough going from now. I just hope I can pull through.

As I mentioned, Fade To Black play is going quite well. I'm up to 33 pages. I'm worried about the dialogue. It seems a bit weak. I don't know if it fits Jodie's character or not. I do struggle with dialogue. I should probably read that book I brought on it. But I haven't as of yet. I don't know if it's going to be performed/published or not. I hope it is. The year is nearly at an end and I have only finished 1 play which was Killing In The Name. That got rejected because it was crap. I'm still worried someone will steal the name Jodie Summers. I need desperately to get something else finished and hopefully published or performed. But I don't know if Fade To Black is the one to make it happen. I enjoy writing it and everything but I'm worried it's crap. I fear it is crap. Am I a terrible writer? Am I a hack? Will I ever get published? Successful?

My whole life depends on it. I can't stand this lack of success anymore. I WANT TO BE PUBLISHED!!

Got some mood stabilizers

My hospital appointment today went quite well. I had a nice doctor and he didn't ask too many complicated questions (I'm stupid) and I could understand him clearly and everything. I wrote down some stuff about how I was feeling and he seemed to pay attention. So it went quite well. He prescribed me some mood stabilizers to help control my manic episodes. I seemed to be on record now as being bipolar which I am thankful about. I've finally been recognized.

The medication is Depakote (valproate semi-sodium) I'm on a starting dose of 500 mg but he hopes to increase it over the next few weeks/months. I just hope it freaking works! I don't know whether or not it'll help with my concentration or not. So I'll have to see how it works out. I had a terrible writing session yesterday I could barely write 1 word. I couldn't focus at all. My mind kept wandering to other things. It was fucking awful. I don't want a repeat of that anymore otherwise I'll get NOTHING finished EVER!

I managed 1 page of my radio drama today. At around 10 am. I couldn't really do anymore as I couldn't concentrate properly. Besides, I was nervous about my hospital appointment and how it would pan out. As it happened, it went well. But I didn't know that at the time. My sleep has been really awful lately too. I think it's because I went to bed at gone 5 am last Wednesday night and it's mucked up my sleeping pattern. I had good sleeps Thursday, friday but not Saturday and Sunday. Yesterday was OK but it was a bit awkward to begin with. Today's was flat out terrible. I woke up at 8 am and didn't sleep again until 11 am. I only slept till 1 p.m. I hope it was just because I was nervous. I don't want a repeat of that.

I'm not sure if I want to do the radio drama anymore. I don't think it's working as well as I hoped. I struggled a bit today with it. I might do a mixture of plays snippets and poetry. I had an idea about it last night. It seemed good in my fantasies. I'll see how it goes over the next few days. There's the possibility I'll go back to the comic too. But I'll just have to see how my concentration and everything pans out.

I've done OK with this post. I managed to write it without losing my focus. If that's a sign of things to come then I can't wait!

YAY!

Public Enemy: The Musical

I've moved back to Public Enemy. I didn't think I'd ever write that idea again. But I'm on fire at the moment. I'm mixing Drama, Music and Poetry together to create an audio masterpiece. Or at least I hope so anyway. I haven't completely given up on The Hunter. I found that easier to write than Public Enemy. But my heart's not really in it.

Although I hope to finish both of them soon. I'm not writing as much as I like too. I'm being very, very lazy at the moment. I've only done 4 pages and I started it three days ago. It's going very, very slowly. I would love to pick up my pace as I really want to finish it quickly and get it sent off.

But that seems unlikely at the moment. It'll probably take me a couple of months to do. And I'm worried that 2008 will be like 2007 in that I hardly finish anything. I don't want that to happen. I want to be published in some form or another this year. And the way things are looking at the moment that doesn't seem likely to happen either.

ARGHHHHH!!!

I'm enjoying writing it. It's different. And fun. If a little hard.