Now at 21 pages

I only wrote 1 page on Friday. But two today. I hope to do another two. The total is 21 at the moment. I could have written that in a day in 2005. I've been distracted by my fantasies again. I stayed up to 5 am last night listening to Alice In Chains. My Music Bank box set arrived yesterday. I love it. I've listened to each of the 3 discs only once. But I was obsessing too much over Facelift. And Badmotorfinger. I've been listening to We Die Young all last night. I've played it nearly 400 times. It's my favourite Alice In Chains song.

My money's getting low. I'm down to just £528. I keep spending, that's the problem!! I'll need to watch my money until I can build it up again. I shouldn't need to buy anything else. But with me you never know. I see something on Amazon and I just have to buy it no matter the cost. ARGHH!!!

I hope I can finish Fade To Black. I'm becoming very paranoid that someone will steal the name Jodie Summers. I can't imagine her being called anything else. I need to finish something with her in it and get it published. And FAST!! Jodie's a great name. It's my favourite girl's name. I got a google search to this site for the name Jodie Summers. Which has me concerned that, like I said, someone will steal it.

I really hope Fade To Black gets published. Not just for that. But because I'm getting desperate to get famous. Even if it's just a little bit. It'll help boost my confidence and hopefully I'll be able to stick at things longer, and write more in a day.

But I won't know until it happens. Fingers crossed.

P.S DON'T STEAL JODIE SUMMERS!!!

Going very slowly...

I did another 2 pages tonight bringing the total to 14 pages. It's going to take me forever to finish it. I used to write 20 pages a day back in 2005. And I could finish an average screenplay in about a week. Now, 3 years on... I can barely do more than 2 pages in a day. It's utterly terribly how far I have sunk in these 3 years.

I blame Novels. That's where all my problems started. And comics. They didn't help either. I can barely keep my focus. I keep getting distracted by my thoughts. My mind is racing with ideas for everything BUT the thing I'm writing at the time. It's madness!!

My CD's arrived today. Badmotorfinger by Soundgarden and Facelift by Alice In Chains are my favourite two that I got. I'm not so keen on Superunknown. It has some good tracks on it but toward the end it sounded a bit odd. But I was in the bath when I was listening to it and wasn't really paying attention. So maybe I'll have to go back and re-listen to it. Alice in Chains Dirt album has become my all time favourite now beating previous champion Nevermind by Nirvana. That's been bumped to second.

Getting back to the point. I really need something to help me concentrate. I figure I could be ADD or something. I need some freaking Ritalin. My hospital appointment that was due for 11th September was cancelled for some unknown reason. I really needed to go. I can't continue like this. It's driving me mental. I hope another one comes soon.

Spent some more money again

I was browsing Amazon and I came across Soundgarden's two masterpiece albums (Superunknown, Badmotorfinger) and I listened to the previews on Itunes. And I knew I had to buy them on CD. £5 each. Not bad. But of course I didn't stop there. I really, really love Alice In Chains so I purchased their debut album Face Lift. £3. Not bad either. It came to £15 in total which is quite reasonable for 3 classic rock albums.

I knew the moment I went to Amazon I would end up buying some stuff. But I really love music. It's my life. I listen to it 15 hours a day plus. So I guess I can justify it by saying that I'll be almost certainly listening to it on an obsessive basis. So it's worth it I guess.

Writing a closet screenplay

I've been reading The Last Word of Dutch Schultz By William S. Burroughs. It's a literary book written in the form of a screenplay. I am thinking of writing one of my own. It's really inspired me to do something like it. I hope I can get it published THEN turned into a film. I was thinking of doing Messiah or Fade To Black. The plays weren't going well. I tried Fade To Black but couldn't get the dialogue right. I've been doing Messiah off and on. It's turned out OK but it would be better suited as an arty screenplay.

Which is what I was thinking of doing. I like the idea of doing an arty/poetic type closet screenplay. That really appeals to me. I'll be hopefully starting it within the next few days as I am going through a maniac episode at the moment and my mind is racing with thoughts and fantasies about it and I just can't concentrate at the moment to sit down longer enough to write it.

I have started to get into Alice In Chains. I brought their Dirt album and loved it. It's so amazing! I've been listening to it non-stop for the past few days. I decided to buy their Music Bank Box Set. It cost me £21. Which isn't bad. 

In the meantime I took a little test to see how tortured I was. And I came out pretty high which didn't surprise me at all. I am really tortured in my twisted, idiotic head.

I am 92% Tortured Artist.

Angst, and bitter resentment drive me to create works that not a single idot will ever come close to grasping. Ah, the raw and unforgiving statements that bleed from my soul are so misunderstood.

Take the
Tortured Artist Test
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